My four year old daughter started violin lessons last month. I have been preparing for this moment practically since her birth. That is not to say that I planned to "force" music lessons on her, but living with a mommy and daddy who live and breathe music, she couldn’t help but be prepared! And yet, although I have played a stringed instrument for the last 21 years and taught professionally for the last 7 years, I was still a bit unprepared for some of the responsibilities of having a child who plays a musical instrument! I have a much greater appreciation for my students' parents now.
What exactly is the parent's role? First, there is the parent's role in practicing. My
daughter is very young, so she requires a definite parental presence, in fact,
parental guidance in her practice. I attend her lessons, take notes,
learn her teacher’s methods, and then guide her practice sessions. The
attention span of a four year old can be amazingly short, so it takes a lot of
patience to get her through a practice session without my totally losing it.
But I have to remind myself that this needs to be fun for her, especially at
this young age. So far, because my daughter
likes to talk and digress A LOT, getting through a simple practice
session takes upwards of an hour daily. With two other small children to care
for, I was NOT prepared for that kind of commitment! All well, it's quality time with your child, right?
With older children, the parent may not need to be quite as actively involved in practice. However, they may still need to help their children set practice goals and routines. And just because a parent cannot play a stringed instrument does not mean that they cannot be helpful in practice sessions. Parents who attend lessons can easily learn what a straight bow, a good bow grip, or a proper left hand set-up looks like, and help the student achieve it during their practice sessions. Parents can recognize that a student may just be “running through” their music, rather than practicing and improving problem areas, and help gently re-direct their practice in more appropriate ways.
Parents can also encourage their children to develop a lifelong love for all kinds of music. When our oldest child was born, we bought numerous CDs of children’s music and kept them in the van. Wherever we drove, she listened to those CDs. All three of our kids have now listened to those CDs since birth, and all of them have been able to sing Old MacDonald and Twinkle since before they could even talk! Our children also see my husband and I listening to, and enjoying classical music, in addition to other types of music. So they have grown up having as much appreciation for Beethoven’s 5th Symphony as they do for Mary Had a Little Lamb. Listening to music is invaluable in developing musicianship in a child, and parents who listen to and appreciate music create children who listen to and appreciate music.
We have also taken our children to concerts. So far, ours are still ages 4 and under, so Circle Theatre is still a bit far off in our future. However, they have been to numerous Symphony on the Prairie concerts, and love it!
Parents can be so important as a pipeline to the teacher. It is sometimes hard for me to know the difference between a student who is: A.) working diligently but only moderately talented, or B.) very talented, but not working up to potential. Parents who communicate with me on how much their child is practicing, the level of challenge they feel with their lesson music, and what their child’s goals are in taking lessons, help me so much in understanding that individual child and what I need to be doing in teaching him or her.
Probably the single most important role of parents is to be the child’s biggest fan and listener. Playing a stringed instrument can be very hard, especially in the first year. Beginning instruments usually do not have a great tone, and beginners are not the best people at getting the optimum sound from those instruments. Also, the coordination and concentration it takes to play a stringed instrument is incredible. A few words of encouragement from Mom or Dad can be so helpful, and might be the only thing that will get your child over a hump. The parent's role is invaluable!
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